There is such an established perception of what “success and happiness” are made of.  It’s critical we stop and ask ourselves if this accepted reality is true for us.  We neglect to recognize the two most important pieces to fulfilling of our human needs are growth and contribution.  For most, our current paths are ignoring both of these potentials.  We are continuously fed by short term meaningless pleasures or guided into an existence whose outcome is to just get by, at best.  It’s no wonder Huffington Post reports the number one greatest regret of the dying is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.  As men, this couldn’t be more true.  

Society has manipulated the male role in business and family to be a watered down version of what once was a noble position.  What once were gracious, strategic, suave gentlemen have now been replaced with ill mannered, reactive, victims.  We need to get back to our core mission as men on this planet which is to penetrate the earth.  This desire is hardwired into our DNA.  This is not only done physically by obvious means, it is also satisfied on a much deeper level through our creativity and serving our purpose.        

Purpose is not a subject widely discussed in male circles these days.  Though we live in a world with greater access than ever to every possibility available to us, we are brought up to believe this potential is merely a pipe dream.  Something which is only pursued once everything else is taken care of.  We are going backward.  Innovation, advancement, and our very ability to continue to exist on this planet is driven by individuals pursuing their missions to overcome these obstacles.  Making their passions, visions, and uniqueness available for our benefit.  Everything man made, was created by people tapping into the deepest crevices of their minds to release what only they have access to.  Inside each one of us is the answer to endless possibly.  

This rarely surfaces on its own.  Instead, one must embark on a life long journey to become their very best and express it to their best ability so they may know on their dying bed, they lived full, died empty, and had the greatest impact they possibly could while they were here.  Only then, will the results of their deeds carry long into the generations to follow, building on where they left off instead of allowing the candles of to burn out  

Here are 10 thoughtful questions developed to spark your curiosity.  To guide your attention inward in search for what exists deep down inside in places you never thought to look.

  1.  What did I always want to be when I grew up?  What was it about this that sparked my excitement?
  1.  If money wasn’t the issue, what would I do with my life?
  1.  Where in my past did I feel the most alive?  What activity was I performing?  What specifically about that activity was fueling my heart?
  1.  What skills am I naturally good at performing?  What skills do I enjoy developing further?
  1.  What advice do my friends come to me for?  Have I naturally become the “expert” at a certain subject?
  1.  If I had to read a book on a subject, what book could I finish with ease?
  1.  What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
  1.  What have I not pursued “because of someone (or something) else”?
  1.  What story would I like my grandkids (or future generations) to say about me?
  1.  If I were to die today, what would I regret not becoming?

Take your time with this questions, while also allowing the answers to flow from within you without judgement.  What may seem absurd to you at the moment, could very well be the exact answer you have been avoiding.  

Thank you,



Tony Kates

Tony Kates is the award-winning author of the #1 bestselling book, Refuze to Live Average, and the founder of, the world’s leading provider of male driven personal development ideas and training.  It is time for men to step into the true gre
atness they are capable of.  This requires us to not only appreciate the wisdom from our past, and to also openly accept a new awareness of what is required of us today in order to create a better tomorrow.

Daily Journey Journal Tony Kates