Drop the 50/50 and Find the Opportunity

"Drop the 50/50..." - Refuze

The 50/50 is how I refer to recognizing the "other side" of any given situation.  People tend to avoid this or use it against themselves, leaving them uninformed and limited.  I propose intentionally seeking this other view and using it as a tool to benefit from.  You see, this position exists in EVERY situation.  Every opportunity, every opinion, every everything, there is always the other side.  When you stop to understand it and use it to your advantage, it betters your outcome in every part of your life.

In the case of an argument, the 50/50 is of course the other person's side.  The reason you feel what you feel in an argument is due to your beliefs, your experiences,  your upbringing and many other things about you but ultimately is based on how you see the world through your eyes .  But it is important to recognize the other person.  Though their opinion may differ from yours, they feel just as strongly as you do, based on how they see the world through their eyes.  Drop the 50/50.   Take a second to understand this about the other person and consider why it is what they are feeling.  This may bring a better solution on how to handle the problem or a better way of working within each other's feelings.  You may find both of you are right (or wrong) and come to a mutual agreement to just disagree.  This is much more productive then just continually arguing with no solution.

Proving right and wrong never equals winner and loser.    For example:  Your friend steals a pencil from your book bag.  You accuse them of stealing in front of your other friends.  They return the pencil but now are mad at you.  How could this be?  You are right for feeling that your friend should not have stolen from you.  So, how are they  turning this on you?  Because what you did not consider was their side.  Your friend stole the pencil because their family could not afford to buy them one.  They were too embarrassed to ask you and feared explaining why.  And this is why they are now mad at you.   You accused them in front of your other friends, embarrassing them more and possibly exposing their other problems.  Now you are are both right in your own eyes, but neither are coming out winners.  If you had considered why they would have stolen from you, maybe you would have chosen to approach them in private and talked it out.  From their side, they too could have considered your friendship and known they could have been honest and just asked.

In the case of an important decision, take for example simply turning left or right.  If you see that turning left looks like a clear path and seems like the way to turn, but never consider what turning right could bring you, that makes for a poor decision.  Not that turning left is a poor decision, but doing so without having all of the information may not bring you the best of the two options.  Drop the 50/50.  If you looked into turning right, you may find it brings you directly to a free ice cream store a mile up the road.  But upon further investigation you also find a brick wall just past the free ice cream where you would have crashed.  So, turning left did end up the better decision.  The point is to gather all the information possible of both outcomes before making up your mind.  Then pick based on the information.  Informed decisions are always the best decisions and they remove doubt, which is unproductive.  Doubt keeps you from believing in your decision 100% .  Without finding out about the wall, you would have forever wondered,  "If I had turned turned right would it have worked out better?"  Knowing about the wall lets you put the pedal to the metal, heading left, and never looking back!!

In the case of viewing an opportunity, it's much like a decision where you gather information.  But with an opportunity both outcomes are possible and you have the control to create either one.  One where the opportunity works in your favor, and one where it does not.  Drop the 50/50.  Take a look at both outcomes and determine what steps need be taken to achieve both positive and negative outcomes.  Knowing this allows you to put in motion the steps necessary to receive the one which you prefer.  If you want it to work in your favor you know what it will take.  You also know what NOT to do and that if you do these things you are certain to fail.  For example.  You have a test on Friday.  Two outcomes exist.  You can pass or you can fail.  In order to pass you must learn the material, do the homework for review, study, avoid distractions, and get good sleep and diet so you are energized before the test.  Chances are, if you do all of these things, you will definitely pass.  Steps to fail; miss any of the above.   Now, based on which actions you choose, you know what your outcome will be.  This one requires a little bit of motivation, but we will discuss how to get that in another blog....

The solution...  Get out there and start dropping the 50/50 !!!   Make more informed and better decisions and have more control of your happiness and your future!!!

Daily Journey Journal Tony Kates