Are You Someone Else's Something?

" You never become anything when you're too focused on being someone else's something... - Refuze "

What did you wanna be when you grew up?   NOT THIS!!!  Ask an adult this question and you will find the majority of them are worlds away from what they actually ever wanted to be.  See, somewhere along the line life will eventually get in the way.  A house, kids, husband or wife become your priority and those who got lost in their need to be something for someone elseend up looking back wondering how did they end up in their current position!  They conditioned themselves to be so dependent and involved in everyone else's life, they never found what it was inside themselves  made them tick.  They allowed the need to fit in and be accepted distract them from their own goals and dreams.  Feeling like youth and time were endless fountains and the day would never come when they would look back and say "WOW!!  This is not how I planned it!"  Guess what.  That day comes and that's exactly how they planned it because they didn't actually planned for anything.

Is this what you want?  Right now, your mind is full of all the possibilities, and the belief that you can do ANYTHING.  You can.  But you have to DO IT!!  Whatever it is you want to do, get to doin it!!  Before you know, you will end up being one of the 80% of people who claim to hate their jobs and their lives.  As you grow, the friends you are currently performing for and the ones which you believe will surround you forever will eventually break off in search of their own obligations and life.  Your weekend get togethers become once a month, then once a year (if even that).  Normally they are reduced to merely commenting on each other's Facebook status when they write "I miss when life was simple".  Life IS simple.  You just have to understand how it works and how NOT to get lost in other's worlds.  Take an active participation in your own life and stay ahead of the curve.  Once you let go your feeling of wanting to be for

If you have a passion, pursue it.  Treat it like it's already your career.  Become it.  Research it, find everything about it you can.  Look for others who enjoy doing the same.  Is there anyone doing what you love as a career?  If so, how did they get to that level.  Copy what they did to get there, ask them for advise if you can.  Just find the thing that you enjoy doing most and do it!!  If you haven't found one, FIND IT!!!  The internet is an amazing tool for this.  Sure it's entertaining to video chat and stalk your friend's Facebook page, but will this get you what you really want out of life?  Use Facebook and all the other social media sites to network and find friends that have the same interest as you.  Surround yourself with people that will support your interest and may help you with it.  I'm not saying your friends in school aren't important, good relationships are a must but make sure you have your priorities in order.  Your future should always come first.  You are the only who decides it, creates it and then enjoys it...  or not...

The 50/50  (definition of this on another blog)

" If you turn your love into a career, you will end up hating what you love...  - My Mom"

It was my Mom's belief that it's the obligation attached to a job that makes one dislike it so much.  That once you put the pressure of needing your passion to turn a profit or the redundancy of doing it everyday that your enjoyment will fade and turn into hatred.  Keep your passions unattached to your need to provide a living and leave them where you can always enjoy them with a clear mind and heart.  Passions should be used as a retreat.  If you despise what once loved, NOW where do you turn?

To an extent, I have found this also to be true.  At one point in my life I enjoyed drawing as a pass time.  I would sketch portraits for fun.  A few people had asked me to do them for money.  I thought this would be great!!  To do what I enjoyed and earn money at the same time!!  Turned out, not so fun.  I was not prepared to make that leap and never felt confident enough in my drawing ability to be comfortable with accepting payment for it.  I would never make a living doing this, at least not at that point.    Now looking back I believe that it was that I enjoyed drawing but it wasn't my true passion.  It was just something I liked to do and I was content with leaving it as just that.

Maybe one of the reasons people dislike their un-chosen careers so much is simply THAT.  They didn't choose it.  They settled.  Maybe it's not really the job they dislike so much, maybe it's their disappointment in their choices that made that job become necessary they are unhappy with.  But who's really gonna admit to THAT?!

So the solution....  Try it.  Give yourself the option and see which works best for you.    You may be one that will never lose your love for what your doing.  Plenty of people ARE doing what they love for a living and would not do anything different but if you never get it to the point to find out, you will become part of the 80%.  Don't leave yourself with the question of what if....  It's not for me to tell you what's right for you, I'm just saying whichever you choose, make sure it's your decision and when you decide, give it your all.  Don't think of it as what you need to be, if your doing it then you already are it.  So just become it and the rest will right itself.

Daily Journey Journal Tony Kates